First off, let me say that I don’t expect every person reading this/following my blog to agree with me. That’s ridiculous. We’re different people, with different experiences.
What I DO expect is a level of respect, kindness, and arguments that are not full of anger or resentment. I also expect that, should I ever tell someone that I need space, that it is understood that means no contact.
I now have someone I consider a stalker. This is a serious problem, and one that we’re taking steps to keep me and my family safe. I’ll also joke about it some, as humor is how I get through harder things. I’ve blocked them on social media, deleted some ill-worded comments (there’s reasons why I have my settings where I can approve of comments before they’re made), and blocked that individual here. However, that doesn’t prevent them from using a different email and coming back. Therefore, I remain vigilant.
Friends I speak with regularly on social media are being apprised of the situation, lest this individual decide to connect with them in an attempt to stay in the loop about my life.
I share a lot on social media, but I remain cognizant that there are those out there who take things too far. The safety of me and my family remain paramount. While thus far the problem has been cyber and sporadic, the pattern is emerging. A log has been started in case I ever need to take legal action. Screen shots of comments/messages will be added going forward.
Look, I get it. In today’s world, we have quick access to people. Sometimes posts or comments are made in anger, born of frustration. However, that doesn’t excuse the behavior. When someone says they need space, give it to them. It’s their determination if and when to resume contact, not yours. Being an author, I understand that words have meaning. The right ones can and do elicit an emotional response within us. So do the wrong ones.
I am not the center of the Universe. I make mistakes. I’m human. However, that does not mean someone else can dictate the emotions I should feel. I can fear things they don’t. I can harbor resentment. And I will not be used as a way for another to feel above their associates simply because I write books. My coattails are small, short, and I get to decide who rides them. No one else.
I believe in peaceful resolutions. I’m not big on confrontation. This is a huge line in the sand for me, though. I don’t ask people to give me space often. When I do, my expectation is that they will do so. Those who cannot lose my respect for them quicker than my cat eats her treats.
2 thoughts on “My site, my rules, my line in the sand”
I applaud your making this clear to all who follow you, and I especially appreciate having been contacted by you directly to warn me about this person. I hope that your measures are successful, in particular I think keeping a log is an excellent idea.
Given that your comments show up, I thought it prudent to warn you about them. I think it’s in my best interests to be open about what’s going on, even if I don’t name names publicly. The few readers I have should know this is NOT okay behavior.